Where Should We Beginwith Esther Perel

S3 Episode 2: A Small Town Affair

S3 Episode 2: A Small Town Affair


In this episode of Where Should We Begin with Esther Perel, we meet a couple whose relational foundation is built upon adultery. Unable to stay apart, the two have cheated on and with each other. The pair’s family histories are also woven with infidelities. As a girl, she witnessed her dad’s serial cheating. As a boy, he viewed his philandering grandfather with awe defining him as a ‘real man.’ For him, affairs continue accompanied by consistent and reflexive lies. Inexplicably drawn to his duplicitousness, she continues to question if she’ll ever fully trust him. In Small Town Affair, the two come together in a final push to discover what’s left of their relationship.


What to listen for in this episode of Where Should We Begin with Esther Perel:

  • Are we destined to repeat childhood behaviors we witness? Or is it equally likely we behave in opposite ways?

  • When we construct lies in an attempt to make us appear worldly and interesting, what happens in the moment(s) we catch a glimpse of our reality?
Lying provides us access to the person we long to be, yet believe we never could. If the lying ends, and we are compelled to exist in reality, what’s left?

  • When we are filled with self-loathing, we view those who are kind to us as fools. We crave their acceptance; we hate them for not being able to see the ugliness we feel inside. Once created can this relational dynamic shift?


Transcript PDF