Where Should We Beginwith Esther Perel

S3 Episode 5: Mom and Monique

S3 Episode 5: Mom and Monique

Overview

In this episode of Where Should We Begin with Esther Perel, we witness a family where boundaries have become blurred. The ‘couple’ we meet in Mom and Monique is a mother/daughter. While the episode doesn’t center around romantic love, it’s no less layered, powerful or nuanced. As the pair navigate Monique stepping out of a brother’s shadow and into a space where being human and having needs is OK, we witness Monique literally and metaphorically embrace a mother’s love.

Thematics

What to listen for in this episode of Where Should We Begin with Esther Perel:

  • Esther poses an important reflection question we might all ask ourselves: When (your) anger speaks, what does it say?

  • Monique chooses “Monique” as an all encompassing pronoun. This decision is about more than resisting labels.  A name is an identity and identity demands recognition. Monique desires to see effort put into seeing Monique. Do you feel more ‘seen’ when there’s effort put into ‘getting you right?’
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Monique’s mom insists she’s not an optimist, she simply feels so much pain she fears if she lets any out she will never stop. Have you experienced the sense of “I can’t shed a tear or I’ll never stop sobbing?”

  • All parent/child relationships contain an arc. The child grows and gets stronger while the parent becomes increasingly fragile. The child likes being perceived as strong, yet it’s hard for them to view a parent as fragile. What is it like to explore these conflicting emotions?